There’s a strange thing that happens when you go through a heavy grief process. Sure, you have all the agony, regret, emptiness, and at least brief moments of madness, but sometimes, after the dust settles a bit, you also have a moment when you realize you can, will, and must continue your journey. It’s an empowering, powerful flash of insight that can zip past you if you’re not careful. You have to grab it when it arrives. It might not return.
Lauren Lakis grabbed it while making her excellent new record Deadlights. She’d already lost friends and family to addictions as she grew up the kid of a single mom in Baltimore. She turned to music and film to make sense of it all, joined some bands, and went around the world. While singing in one of those bands, she went through a bad breakup and then learned her mother had been in a car accident that left her paralyzed.
That’s a lot to carry and channel, and she faces the challenge head-on with “There” opening the album with shoegaze guitars and her voice rising above the dissonance. “Heaven Felt Too High” roars with heavy bass grooves that would make Greg Edwards proud.
“I Fall Apart” has Lakis acknowledging the tough parts of grief, but also how she can keep moving (“I won’t let you down. I won’t turn back and around.”). The bass on “The Other Side” hits as hard as anything Kris Novoselic ever dreamed up and probably starts a mosh pit whenever Lakis plays this song live. She makes some Zen allusions on “It’s So Amazing” in which she sings about being in the here and now.
The title track buzzes like your head after you’ve endured a heavy loss. It’s quiet and yet deafening. “No One’s Around Now” reminds me of advice one of my best friends gave me a couple days before my late wife’s funeral: “You’re going to be surrounded by people who love you…and then they’re all going to go home.” It’s true. Eventually, no one is around to help. You have to do it yourself. Lakis knows this and accepts the challenge. What else can you do?
“Love Like a Dog” is a contender the saddest song on the album. The guitar tones let you know it’s going to be rough sailing for a bit, but there is sun on the horizon. “I Want You Here” probably takes the “saddest song” title, and the drone-like bass and melted guitar chords emphasize the loneliness in the lyrics. Ending with “With That Body,” the album drifts away on almost a dream-psych note. The guitars wind around you like a desert wind and the synth bass and drums nearly pull you into a trance.
Deadlights hypnotizes throughout its length. Its a solid record and one that you’ll revisit a lot during late night drives and gray days.
Keep your mind open.
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[Thanks to Daniel at RidingEasy Records.]
